Finding Myself Through Motherhood: Embracing Purpose and Growth

When I think back to being a child and being asked ‘what do you want to be when you’re older?’ (not including my first dream which was to be a witch after dressing up as one for Halloween) I’d often give answers like a hairdresser, a lawyer, or a teacher. However, what I always saw myself being was a mother.

It’s never enough though, is it? To answer that you want to be a mum, I can’t fathom why not though – a higher purpose would be a struggle to find.

Ok, you can’t be a full-time mum forever – lets face it, it would be slightly odd to be following a 40-year-old around cutting up their grapes, blowing on their food, or wiping their faces.

But with approximately 78% of people changing careers at least once in their lives, why should it matter if women take time out to raise a family? Sadly, in today’s economic climate, being a stay-at-home mum isn’t a luxury many can afford. I balance part-time work with raising my children, which feels just right for me. It gives me a little financial freedom but doesn’t take me away from my family for too long.

I feel bad for mums who have to work 40-hour weeks – I salute you, I cant imagine how hard that is to be away from your children so much and still have to cook, clean and care for your family – hats off to you- you are superhuman.

The Early Days: A New Identity

When Kieffer was born, everything changed. My days suddenly filled with an endless cycle of feeding schedules, nappy changes, and sleepless nights. The transition from being a girl with her own life to a mother who was responsible for a tiny human was overwhelming- it’s normal to feel a little lost in this new routine that can often feel like an endless cycle of care.

Yet, in those quiet moments of rocking him to sleep, I found a new part of myself—a nurturing side that I hadn’t known existed. It’s so true that when a baby is born that the mother is born too- the mother is a brand-new person who never existed before.

I discovered that motherhood was reshaping my identity in ways I hadn’t anticipated. It was no longer just about me; it was about us, and the little family we were building together and as difficult as it was at times i loved this new little life.

The Purpose Motherhood Provides

One of the most profound aspects of motherhood is the sense of purpose it provides. There is a unique fulfilment that comes from knowing you are literally helping form someone’s sense of self, every new milestone that they reach almost feels like a shared victory. Honestly it is a bond like none other.

Motherhood has taught me that purpose isn’t always about grand achievements or career milestones. Sometimes, it’s about the everyday acts of love and care—reading bedtime stories, kissing scraped knees, and being the safe space for my children.

On days where I feel lost or wonder my purpose I can look to my children and feel a sense of fulfilment that nothing else in this life could give me.

Feminism and motherhood : The great balancing Act

I’m currently in the 4th year of my degree and for my dissertation I am looking at the evolution of mothers and as more are on the conveyor belt to enter the workforce than ever I am looking at how this effects our roles and identities.

It’s interesting how modern feminism champions the idea that women can “do it all”—career, family, independence—but often, the focus shifts heavily toward professional achievements.

Motherhood, though, offers a different kind of empowerment, one that sometimes gets overlooked. Raising children, shaping their future, and building a family are incredible accomplishments.

Feminism, at its core, should embrace the freedom for women to choose their paths whether that’s climbing the corporate ladder, staying at home, or blending both. It’s about the value in choice, and that includes the choice to prioritise motherhood.

So, don’t let anyone diminish your role or your goals.

You don’t need to have or do it all

It’s so easy to compare yourself to the Nara Smiths and Ballerina farms of the world and feel as though you’re falling short. And to this I say what I always do – comparison is the thief of joy.

To all the mums out there trying to juggle everything, my best advice is this: be kind to yourself. You don’t need to be perfect, and you don’t have to do it all. It’s okay to ask for help, whether it’s from family, friends, or childcare- whatever you need.

Take time for yourself, even if it’s just a quiet cup of tea. And most importantly, trust your instincts—whether you’re staying at home, working part-time, or full-time, what matters is finding what works for you and your family.